Without the one who is in me, how can I continue these days. He is the resource of my breath and strengh. He is the catcher of all my thoughts. He is my Father my healer my defender my protector. Though I may lose in earthly things but I win the salvation of my soul. The more distracting a situation is the more I run to you earnestly. You r my secret place. You are my ultimate comforter.该面对的 总还是要面对的 虽然沮丧 但不能失了志气 【罗8:28】我们晓得万事都互相效力，叫爱　神的人得益处，就是按他旨意被召的人。 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

If I have never had a warm feeling of taste,maybe I will not cold. If I did not feel too sweet love, I maybe would not have to pain. If I dis not encounter the kind pei girl, If I have never left my room, I would not kown I was such alonely.
如果我从来没有品尝过温暖的感觉，也许，我不会这样寒冷。如果我从没有感受过爱情的甜美，我也许就不会这样的痛苦。如果我没有遇到善良的佩格，如果我从来不曾离开过我的房间，我就不会知道我原来是这样的孤独。——如果我没有爱上你，也许就不会有背叛。

Joseph will back to China, not so surprised. I know the day will come and also know that reality will not be as good as I thought. So let it go.
What is dis pointed me is that I dare not quit. I don't think I love this place nor either hate, just fell boring and tiered.
Will is my futur ? What will I do? Maybe I need a walk to spare this not good felling.
Hope I could find an answer.
There is a hope. Must be.