#看好书成为更好的自己##你当像鸟飞往你的山##读书感悟#
#原生家庭对子女的影响#
对我来说 有很长一段时间
I think there was a long time for me
我觉得因为我爱他们（家人）
I thought because I loved them
这意味着我可能做了错误的决定（远离他们）
that meant maybe I had made the wrong decision
或者因为我想念他们
or because I missed them
然后我会怀疑自己
and then I would second guess myself
因为我还想念他们
and say oh because I missed them
这一定意味着我犯了一个错误
it must mean that I made a mistake
我花了很长时间才弄明白
and it took me a really long time to figure out that
爱就是爱
yeah love is just love
我和我父亲之间发生的最后一件事情
one of the last things that happened between me and my father.
当我最后一次见他时
the last time I saw him
他走过来
he came over
从侧面非常尴尬地抱了我
and he gave me this really awkward side hug
他对我说
and he said to me
“我是爱你的你知道吗”
I love you you know that
我说。我知道”
and I said I do
“这一点从来都不是问题所在”
that has never been the issue
我一直明自我父亲是爱我的
and I always knew my father loved me
我当然知道他爱我
of course I knew he loved me
我知道父亲对我做的事情不是因为他不爱我
and I don't think my dad did anything that he did from a lack of love
但是爱会变成一种伤害
and I think we do love a real disservice
当我们用他来控制 压迫和改变他人时
when we make it about control and power and changing people
这不是真正的爱
and that's not what it is
如果你爱一个人 你会无条件的给予他们爱
you love people you give them that for free
然后你再决定
and then you decide
你是否要将他们看做自己生命的一部分
whether that's something that you want to have in your life
相反的方式就是
and the alternative is to say
我要先改变他们
well I'm going to change them
然后让他们融入我的生活
and then I'll have them in my life
这不是爱的定义
that's not what love is
更不是爱所赋予的控制欲
and it's not the power that it has
我依然爱我的家人
I would say with my own family I love them now
尽管我和家里一半的人疏远了
I'm estranged from half my family
我很爱他们 但我已经接受了一个事实
love them very much but I've accepted the fact
我需要他们做出改变 才能让他们进入我的生活
I need them to change to have them in my life
但至于他们是否会改变 我无法控制
and whether or not they change is something I have no control over
你要能够构想出不同的生活
to being able to conceive of a different thing
而不是局限于眼前已有的生活
than the life you have in front of you
有一段话我很喜欢
there's a scripture that I really like
信念是所望之事的实质
faith is the substance of things hope for
是未见之事的明证
the evidence of things not seen
让我很难摆脱家庭束缚
that made it hard for me to let go of my family
就是难以想象
was not being able to imagine
未来没有他们的生活
any kind of future life that didn't have them in it
我想每个人都是这样
and I think that's what everybody does
我们在不同的家庭中成长
we grew up in these families
学会了某种模式
and we learned certain patterns
我们觉得摆脱了束缚 改变了自己
and we think that we're all liberated and changed
但是一旦我们重新回到那种环境中
and then as soon as we get back in that situation
我们会重复原来的模式
we repeat those patterns
甚至更糟
or worse
家庭中经常存在很多问题
ery often we have dysfunctional family relationship
然后我们走向外面的世界
and then we go out into the world
发现有些人和自己一样重复着这种模式
and we find people who will repeat that pattern with
有些人永远无法摆脱
some people who will never leave it
我们会吸引和自己相同的人
we attract those people
所以我更喜欢一种信仰是
and l think I love this idea of faith
一种对更美好和不同世界的信仰
as a belief in a better world and a different world
感受不同的的人生体验
and a different life that you've experienced
体验尚未拥有过的爱
love that you may not have experienced yet
但要学会放手
but to let go of what is
试着看看事情会如何发展
and try to see what things could be
信仰和教育之间有一个奇妙的交集
I think of as a really amazing intersection between faith and education
因为这两者的结合
because it's those two things together
会让你看清生活的本质
it's the ability to see your life as it is
以及想象一种不同的生活
and imagine a different life
#原生家庭对子女的影响#
对我来说 有很长一段时间
I think there was a long time for me
我觉得因为我爱他们（家人）
I thought because I loved them
这意味着我可能做了错误的决定（远离他们）
that meant maybe I had made the wrong decision
或者因为我想念他们
or because I missed them
然后我会怀疑自己
and then I would second guess myself
因为我还想念他们
and say oh because I missed them
这一定意味着我犯了一个错误
it must mean that I made a mistake
我花了很长时间才弄明白
and it took me a really long time to figure out that
爱就是爱
yeah love is just love
我和我父亲之间发生的最后一件事情
one of the last things that happened between me and my father.
当我最后一次见他时
the last time I saw him
他走过来
he came over
从侧面非常尴尬地抱了我
and he gave me this really awkward side hug
他对我说
and he said to me
“我是爱你的你知道吗”
I love you you know that
我说。我知道”
and I said I do
“这一点从来都不是问题所在”
that has never been the issue
我一直明自我父亲是爱我的
and I always knew my father loved me
我当然知道他爱我
of course I knew he loved me
我知道父亲对我做的事情不是因为他不爱我
and I don't think my dad did anything that he did from a lack of love
但是爱会变成一种伤害
and I think we do love a real disservice
当我们用他来控制 压迫和改变他人时
when we make it about control and power and changing people
这不是真正的爱
and that's not what it is
如果你爱一个人 你会无条件的给予他们爱
you love people you give them that for free
然后你再决定
and then you decide
你是否要将他们看做自己生命的一部分
whether that's something that you want to have in your life
相反的方式就是
and the alternative is to say
我要先改变他们
well I'm going to change them
然后让他们融入我的生活
and then I'll have them in my life
这不是爱的定义
that's not what love is
更不是爱所赋予的控制欲
and it's not the power that it has
我依然爱我的家人
I would say with my own family I love them now
尽管我和家里一半的人疏远了
I'm estranged from half my family
我很爱他们 但我已经接受了一个事实
love them very much but I've accepted the fact
我需要他们做出改变 才能让他们进入我的生活
I need them to change to have them in my life
但至于他们是否会改变 我无法控制
and whether or not they change is something I have no control over
你要能够构想出不同的生活
to being able to conceive of a different thing
而不是局限于眼前已有的生活
than the life you have in front of you
有一段话我很喜欢
there's a scripture that I really like
信念是所望之事的实质
faith is the substance of things hope for
是未见之事的明证
the evidence of things not seen
让我很难摆脱家庭束缚
that made it hard for me to let go of my family
就是难以想象
was not being able to imagine
未来没有他们的生活
any kind of future life that didn't have them in it
我想每个人都是这样
and I think that's what everybody does
我们在不同的家庭中成长
we grew up in these families
学会了某种模式
and we learned certain patterns
我们觉得摆脱了束缚 改变了自己
and we think that we're all liberated and changed
但是一旦我们重新回到那种环境中
and then as soon as we get back in that situation
我们会重复原来的模式
we repeat those patterns
甚至更糟
or worse
家庭中经常存在很多问题
ery often we have dysfunctional family relationship
然后我们走向外面的世界
and then we go out into the world
发现有些人和自己一样重复着这种模式
and we find people who will repeat that pattern with
有些人永远无法摆脱
some people who will never leave it
我们会吸引和自己相同的人
we attract those people
所以我更喜欢一种信仰是
and l think I love this idea of faith
一种对更美好和不同世界的信仰
as a belief in a better world and a different world
感受不同的的人生体验
and a different life that you've experienced
体验尚未拥有过的爱
love that you may not have experienced yet
但要学会放手
but to let go of what is
试着看看事情会如何发展
and try to see what things could be
信仰和教育之间有一个奇妙的交集
I think of as a really amazing intersection between faith and education
因为这两者的结合
because it's those two things together
会让你看清生活的本质
it's the ability to see your life as it is
以及想象一种不同的生活
and imagine a different life
谁是友宝女 我是✌️️
四月的快乐来自芬芬的暖房~
一下班就能吃到的晚饭一起床就能吃到的早餐!我爱芬芬好多100分! heihei❤️给我的窝新增了好多好多我都不会置办的东西
Dad and Mom said带来的不仅是礼物还有家的味道！
睡到自然醒然后出门炫饭做SPA 买6碗饭午睡直接到晚上七点半谁也没喊谁起来
然后一起见了好久没见的黄雅玲!!!溜进华大在大热天狂走 最后花2元骑2分钟的电动车最爱坐在藤蔓下有风的湖面旁休息[转圈]
最后插播-热气饼的面包真的好吃的 至今没有踩雷哪一款 值!!
以及一些花钱消灾的故事哈哈哈
四月的快乐来自芬芬的暖房~
一下班就能吃到的晚饭一起床就能吃到的早餐!我爱芬芬好多100分! heihei❤️给我的窝新增了好多好多我都不会置办的东西
Dad and Mom said带来的不仅是礼物还有家的味道！
睡到自然醒然后出门炫饭做SPA 买6碗饭午睡直接到晚上七点半谁也没喊谁起来
然后一起见了好久没见的黄雅玲!!!溜进华大在大热天狂走 最后花2元骑2分钟的电动车最爱坐在藤蔓下有风的湖面旁休息[转圈]
最后插播-热气饼的面包真的好吃的 至今没有踩雷哪一款 值!!
以及一些花钱消灾的故事哈哈哈
不行 我非常地愤怒 易烊千玺neng着我了 +++给正能量咪咪们加易烊千玺时期的抖音内容 2019年、、见证这些年的一路成长 承蒙您的厚爱 我爱和感激每一位咪咪、、请见2019年（抖音）文字、、绝对正能量人士、、、谢谢所有正能量咪咪们的一路加持和爱护有加 我爱你们哦～～～ 给大家加了 中餐和中文音乐今天有、、爱你们哦～～～ 要一起共进发展 一起加油 越来越好哦～～～ 易烊千玺就是个虚壳儿 都是假的、、、什么国民男团 什么什么正能量偶像 全是假的！！！！除了天天玩儿美女以外 没有别的心思 您也就这点儿出息了 您和黑色、、、真是不可苟同～～～ 赶紧把钱给我了 就滚远点儿 我老了 我不跟你们玩儿这些！！！爱妈妈咪 大爱妈妈咪！！！！好人来的 专门为做好人好事儿而励志存在 现在就支持董宇辉那里了！！！是正能量的好人 好在是现在大热的社会价值导向、、我也觉得很棒～～～ 几年前我是支持易烊千玺 / TFBoys ,,, 现在我改支持董宇辉了～～～ 董宇辉最棒！！！爱妈妈咪 大爱妈妈咪～～～ 我怒了 见上、、、韩国那边儿也要加补今天！！！！！砍我一次 我回击一道 哼！！！！！长文见上～～～
I had some Chinese content planned cause I don’t chat that much in Chinese these days just trying to work both ways and making both sides both my mom and dad happy ,,, but the Chinese bosses fucken pissed me off ,,, I’m talking to you guys this week ,,,, not giving them any time fuckers!!! I love love loveeee my beautiful sweet amazing boss / bosses and love love love everyone heart heart heart
I had some Chinese content planned cause I don’t chat that much in Chinese these days just trying to work both ways and making both sides both my mom and dad happy ,,, but the Chinese bosses fucken pissed me off ,,, I’m talking to you guys this week ,,,, not giving them any time fuckers!!! I love love loveeee my beautiful sweet amazing boss / bosses and love love love everyone heart heart heart
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