The Solitary
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Dar'st thou amid the varied multitude
To live alone, an isolated thing?
To see the busy beings round thee spring,
And care for none; in thy calm solitude,
A flower that scarce breathes in the desert rude
To Zephyr's passing wing?
Not the swart Pariah in some Indian grove,
Lone, lean, and hunted by his brother's hate,
Hath drunk so deep the cup of bitter fate
As that poor wretch who cannot, cannot love:
He bears a load which nothing can remove,
A killing, withering weight.
He smiles--'tis sorrow's deadliest mockery;
He speaks--the cold words flow not from his soul;
He acts like others, drains the genial bowl,--
Yet, yet he longs--although he fears--to die;
He pants to reach what yet he seems to fly,
Dull life 's extremest goal.
孤独者
雪莱 江枫 译
你是否敢在形形色色的人群中，
自行其是，成为一个绝缘物？
眼看着别人在身边忙忙碌碌，
不管不顾；守着你宁静的幽居，
像荒凉沙漠里的一朵花不屑于
向那过路的风吐露气息。
印度某处丛林中黑皮肤的贱民
寂寞、憔悴、受同胞的憎恨，
所饮下的命运之杯苦酒之深
也难比这可怜虫，他，不会爱：
他背负着无法解除的一种负载
一种致人于死命的沉重。
他微笑：对悲伤最恶毒的嘲讽，
他说话：冷言冷语言不由衷，
他像别人一样贪饮欢乐酒盅。
却说期望，虽然是害怕，死掉，
他渴望着达到他似乎在逃避的
无聊人生最极端的目标。
一八一零年

又翻回去看昨天的记录 觉得真好啊
在我在焦虑这个焦虑那个的时候
会有人和我说 “你想多了宝贝”

我是好容易焦虑的一个人 有事情没做完就永远焦虑 明明none of my business也疯狂焦虑 为各种事情焦虑 所以好希望有个和我爸一样的人能够一直站在我背后 和我说 “你想多了宝贝”
并不是说有这句话有这个人我就能停止焦虑 而是他们能够短暂地激活我跳出焦虑去追逐自己喜欢的事物的决心和勇气 让我在这一路上有资本去做选择 不至于成为那个我自己都不愿意成为的人

大人买衣服都要先看价签 小孩子不用
谢谢我爸 一直让我做个小孩[悲伤]

“Beacause I am the beach.
And I must be here and ensure the extinction happens.
Even if takes tens,or hundereds of thousands years.”

“Alone?”

“That's what an EE does.
If I just done my job,none of this would've happended.
But I...I couldn't take it anymore I got so tired,of waiting.
And I figured no one would've blame me if I just got it over with.So,that's what I did.”

“Sounds like hell.”